Un diario dislexico

Shallow people Shallow hearts Shallow minds Empty insides Echo sound inside your thoughts Not able to know where to go Scream and cries inside my head Shallow loves Shallow bonds Shallow friends Empty life Want to cry at loud but something stops me Oh yes, I have people around You need to pretend that everything is ok Shallow tears Shallow smile Shallow faith in life Empty face Need to run away You need to hide You need to remember who you are....

What is the word I want to hear? El dia de hoy escuche: If you really love someone, you want to see them fully happy even if you are not next to them, if you want to find love, it is not to complete you. It is because you are already a complete. But I dont feel complete already and I want to belong to my world, also to my heart. Everything is telling me I am not ready for you, but still I have to experience love again. My world took a different perspective when you are around, Memories with you, Sorrowful day and life, I dont want to live only with the "What If?" I wish to give it a try... What i want to hear? That you want to try too...

Me han dicho que deje de pensar con esa cosa que tengo en el pecho, ellos no saben lo que siente en este momento, el nudo en la garganta sin poder gritar todo lo que tengo guardado. Beber mis penas, beber mis ideas, beber mis frustraciones, Fumarme mis anhelos, fumarme mis sueños, Por el siemple hecho que no sigo las reglas como ellos quieren que juegue, Siguen gritándome que siga lo que dice mi cabeza, pero ellos no saben lo que realmente pienso ahora, No dejo de pensar que sería si pudiera expresar cada palabra, Que pudiera gritarles todo ese odio que tengo dentro, Solo quiero beber todo esto, aunque se pudra dentro, Cada momento me duele mas caminar, movermo, pensar, si lo único que hago que no me hace mas daño es hablar, porque he logrado disfrazar cada una de esas palabras con decoraciones navideñas, así todos creen lo feliz que nos encontramos en este mundo de mentiras y desilusiones. Cuando entre siento las miradas, que sienten pena por mi persona, pena ajena, Como que...

You're afraid to stick out your chin and say, "Okay, life's a fact, people do fall in love, people do belong to each other, because that's the only chance anybody's got for real happiness." You call yourself a free spirit, a "wild thing," and you're terrified somebody's gonna stick you in a cage. Well baby, you're already in that cage. You built it yourself. It's wherever you go. Because no matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.

El mal humor me gana los sentimientos, I need attention, I need support and I am searching for it in the wrong places, Sometimes I am the one supporting other people but who will be there for me? I hate myself because I give it all, every single person take a piece of me but every day I wake up alone, Sweet dream, waiting for you to show up in them, You abandon me too, Lately I am waiting for your presence here, Me molesta tanto saber que necesito contacto humano, Que necesito ser abrazada y consolada, Oir que todo lo que estoy haciendo esta bien, But still, I am the one helping other and be the support for them in their hard times, It is not their fault, I never ask for help or support.... It is not a weakness to request for help or cry when you need it, But I do not get used to do it. Sometime I wish to be save by a Magical Handsome being, Then I laugh and remember i should save myself, I can depend of someone to save be, I know in my head, there'...

Giving in, I know myself and this isn't the way to go, I wish to know what was the point of this story and how it felt before, But I am giving up, And I will be doing something for the first time that I never thought before, Said before and never thought it was a good thing, Right now I don't want to be myself, I don't know what to do about it anymore, I'm just lost and not trying to listen to my heart, My brain is still in pain, trying to keep up with my heart, That smile, That dumb smile, That silly smile is able to break my walls? That smily eyes, That sweet eyes, I am not able to stop smiling because of them, God, what is wrong with me? I don't know what to say, People say that I am not ok, Can I take a break sometimes? I don't know....

You don't know what to expect from life, WHen the life give lemons you should do limonate, that what they said. Don't ask me what I am able to do if I have lemons, Maybe a pie, or maybe discover the cure for a complicate disease, Or maybe I will create a new life, or use them to travel around the world, Do you think every change because I am trying to change or give it a try? Or this is not the time to give and open myself. Because I am pushing hard, Maybe I am to happy about it and I need to pop the balloon and smell the reality, But I just like something just simple as this is, No complications no regrets no reason why I need to double check my thoughts, Still I needs to fight..... I have the feeling that everything changed, I don't know how or when, I want to know him better and now, Your eyes are telling something I never saw before, I think everything has changed.... Do you think everything change for good? I want to know you.... I want to know you be...

Las cosas pasan por una razon, O tal vez no pasan por una razon. Nos encontramos y nos dejamos de encontrar, No se si sonreir o llorar, Los dias pasan sin altos ni bajos, Algunas veces pasan por pasar. Creo que debo ser una tonta al no reconocer que las cosas son como el universo quiere que sea, No es como yo quiero que pase, Veo que cada dia nos conocemos mas, Y asi quiero dejar de conocerte, Quisiera dejar de pensar en lo que puede pasar entre nosotros, No es algo que mi soledad quiere que piense porque no es un sentimiento de tranquilidad el que viene despues de esto, siento, eso es lo que pasa es que siento algo en el pecho, Algo que he estado negando por tanto tiempo, Eso que no quiero decir o pensar que necesito algunas veces del dia, Las cosas seguiran su transcurso pero mi mente no quiere que pase, Dejar que todo siga su curso sin hacer cambios, Y si, una voz dice "No es el" Aunque la sonrisa es la que habia visto tanto en sueños....

Dreaming of you by my side, It is funny how your present make my heart trembler, That longing for your arms around my waist, Everything should be ok but it is not, First the fear of losing something close to you, Even you didnt talk to each other regularly, You know that person and you care about him, The stress of a new process, And the only one that is able to calm you is your dream, The dream of you, You in a different place, Around extrange people, With that beautiful smile of yours, Making my heart feel joy again, Lost in time in your eyes.... I know that is not necessary for me to know where am i or where i am going..... But let go...

Stirring in one's heart Fluttering in one's heart from anticipation My heart´s stirring from these longings for you Send with kind of sentiment? To draw in one´s mind I have been wistfully thinking of longing for you....

Sentimientos encontrados, Realidades alternas, Momentos perdidos, Esperanzas destrozadas por la realidad, Las cosas deberian de ser mas facil cuando tenes el corazon en una mano, Cuando tenes toda tu fe en un solo momento, en una sola alternativa, Vas despertando sin nada, sin sueños, sin ganas, sin fuerza.... Hasta tu reflejo en el espejo te mira con reproche, con ganas de abofetearte por todo lo que has hecho de tu vida sin pensar en las consecuencias de ello, La vida te consume poco a poco, Tu luz se va apagando sin ganas de brillar, Sin deseos de seguir buscando la salida de este oyo, Este maldito abismo que vos cavaste poco a poco, Los dias se hacen eterno, las horas mas largas y los minutos saben a años de espera, Queres gritarte que te amas, pero ni tu mismo te lo crees, No sale de tus labios esas palabras que quieres oir de otros labios, Como esperas que alguien te lo diga si tu mismo no puedes decirtelo, Te ves y te repudia tu imagen, Te ves cada uno de tus de...

To be Human, It is necessary to know what is the difference between love and be love, Or to know what is to love somebody or to be in love of someone, Is it a difference between them? You know there is someones who wants to use you and abuse you, There is the misdeed if we believe that love can conquer all, That the goal, purpose, meaning, reason of your life is to love someone and become a perfect and complete being after you meet that person, Or maybe, We don't need to be too close to be complete and that is the reason for you to keep searching for the other half, I don't believe anymore in the other half or someone will complete me, But can I believe that I am able to fall in love one last time or several times before I departure from this life? The blood in my veins still warm and my heart needs to feel love again, I am not able to stop searching, I don't care when, who, where or how this is going to happen, It is not possible to break my spirit, I am read...

It will be the death of me, I need to discover, I need to behave, I know I am the master of my own disaster, I need to know I am able to last from my own disasters, I know I can handle my miniature disaster life. People think I have a cold heart, I am able to be a very strange sight, Because I am not what you see at first, I love to be alone, that is not a lie, But doesnt mean my heart is made of stone, Get close and you can know how warm a fussy my heart is, And let me do all the talking. Don't fear what you are not able to understand, I know I look far away, Believe me I want to be like, You think I am full of excuses, But I feel you are in the other side of the world to me, I wish this could be simple, Are you able to hold me and never let me go? Are you able to see me?

New beginning, New Journey, Again and again the circle start, The endless journey for me, But the new beginning for you, So tired that I am not able to go on, I have some many thing to give and to try, I am waiting for you to bring me your willingness to help, But I don't know if I will be able to handle another disappointment, You give some many of your soul and hopes at the moment you help other then you forgot why you started, It was your initial reason or you lost yourself on the way, I need to leave or forget how to the razoning work, I am a sucker for pain, I am the only one that expect to fix something, But when you are able to remember you love to offer yourself to change things, To improve everything around you, Then the reality hit and you are a dumb sucker for pain.....

How i will forget you? Will I be able to move forward without you? I stopped myself waiting for your answer....

NO se que decir, De que hablar, MUchas veces me pregunto en que momento me perdi, Las cosas, mi vida tenia un plan, una historia, un path, un sentido.... Al menos eso era lo que me repetia todos los dias, al menos eso era lo que creia. Todo ere segun el plan, Todo iba segun lo que me habian enseñado en casa, Mi mama me habia dicho que las cosas debian de ser de esa manera, Encontrar a alguien, Conocerlo, luego el casamiento y los hijos, Y la realidad o la vida me golpeo, Me dio una bofetada, Me mostro que todo lo que creia realidad era todo una mentira, Lo que me habian dicho, Esas promesas, la fidelidad, el "amor unico e incondicional", el respeto, la compañia, Eran una mentira, Que me duele mas?!?!?! La infidelidad o la traicion o la mentira o que me lo estes negando?!?!? Me pongo a pensar en cada momento, ocasion, salida que tuviste con tus "amigos", en lo flexible que era contigo con respecto a respetar tu tiempo personal, en creer que dejand...

Are you telling me I am the one to blame? Are you asking to feel the guilt for all your shame? Are you kidding me? All this sour disposition, All these bitter words coming from your ones sweet mouth, You promise to love me for better or for worse, You said I was the person you dream off, I was the only one in your heart, Now I am the one how take your manhood, I did everything for you, I worked hard to keep our lifestyle, I did all for us, The saddest part is you never told me "we were not ok" You keep your mouth close, You shut down, You never try to fix us, You give up, I never had a change, Am I the worse person? I want to scream to the world how bad I am, It is possible to tell you how sorry I am for never notice your unhappiness, Is this what do you expect from me? Do you want me you say this words? Do you really think I am really sorry for this outcome? I knew from the begging you were with some else, That you started your departure from our ho...

How are you able to move forward? If everything around you pull you backward. You try to meet new people, But you compare every body with him. They tell you "What doesn't kill you make you a stronger!" Maybe a little stronger, But still you are afraid to be hurt again. You are planning to realize your stress with one night stands, Do you ask to your heart if you will be able to survive that way for to long? Te preguntas porque las cosas terminaron de esta manera, La distancia te mato, La soledad te gano.... O el encanto de nuestra relación pereció? Todo tiene una fecha de caducidad, NO es posible que la distancia destruyera 2 años de relación, Mis sentimientos no importan, Mi lealtad no valio de nada, Mi cuerpo no puede comprender porque no estas aqui conmigo, Mi corazón no quiere sentir este vacío por tu ausencia, Mi cerebro no procesa la razón de tu distanciamiento, Igual nada de eso cuenta porque hasta este momento tu no vuelve...

Why what do you do taste like dust? What happen when you don't feel nothing at the moment you do what you supposed to love? You don't feel nothing! That everything around you doesn't taste sweet anymore, No more magic, No more inspiration, I need to ask me who I am, I forgot what was the passion I used to have, I used to love these, I want to feel it again, I dont like to play around, I like to work, I love to do, I dont like to feel relax, I like to push myself to my limits, I need to interrupt this way of thinking. You need to fail, You need to try something new, You need to take 15 minutes ro try something new, Change your habits, Change your hobbies, Add something new, You need to find the taste of simple things again, You need to free your mind and you will find yourself. Say yes to play more and less work... Do you want to play?

I felt awake today, Here I am for you to take it, Sometime big girls cry when the heart is breaking. I play alone in the dust, I learn how to survive, I won't envy you, Because I will survive, Even if you don't want to but I am still alive, I found solitude in the darkest hours, Everything was against me, Not even my family believe I wasn't able to survive, But I am still breathing, I did all the thing you didn't believe I was able to do, Please check it, I am here and I survive.... Please wake up.... I want to be close to notice the change, I know I need you before, I said I will not let you go but.... You let off before me, I want to live with you, But not anymore, Everything fade away, We said we won't let go... I don't want to by her anymore.....

Cuando veo las fotos y tu rostro feliz, Te ves mas feliz, Mucho más feliz de como cuando estábamos juntos, Nadie creo que te lastimo como yo, Fui la primera persona en muchas cosas, Primer beso, Primera relación formal, Primera de ser presentada con tu familia, Primera que le entregaste un anillo, Primera que le propusiste matrimonio, Eso fue lo que fui, Reconocer que te vez felizmente casado con otra, Saber que al final te vez feliz, Deseo que sea asi, No se si sentirme mal por no ser yo quien te acompañe mas en tu camino, Nuestros caminos no se encontrarán otra vez, Porque también fue la primera persona que te lastimo, Te lastimo tanto que jamás volviste a ser el mismo. Debería de ser un insulto mi nombre en tus labios... I never was perfect for you, You found the love, You really look happier with her, I am so glad that I was able to share few years with you, But I know you look perfect with her.

What something Happen? When am I able to know that my emotion take the best of me? When do I trigger that anger? How do I stop it? Do I am able to see the best of myself? To know that I am not able to solve the problem, How did I feel? What caused my feeling? How did I express and regulate my feeling? What could I have done to handle the situation better? What can I do now? There is a plain?

Sometimes I guess it was all my fault, He want to give you everything, But just wasn't enough for you, You was enough for him, When he is someone who couldn't give everything to you, On the end, he gave up. Back then, when we used to love each other, When everything was so exiting and colorful, We thought we were able to own the world, I was not able to picture myself without you, To be in this moment, That's how I am. That day we talk about our future life, I was someone who went too far ahead of you, In the end I let you go, I know everything was on me, It must have been so hard and painful, I was the one who end it, And I paying for it. You used to cry like the world had come to an end, But now I know everything was for the best, I can't picture you anymore in my life, I wonder if you are really ok, Can I ask you if you´ve completely forgotten about us? Maybe it is to selfish to ask. Why can´t they be like memo...

Que harias en este momento si fueras yo? Porque eres tu el que aparece en mis sueños, Ese sueño recurrente en que estamos en ese dia nevado, Si fueras yo, Todo fuera diferente, Acaso aparezco en tus sueños tambien? Solo porque eres tu, no pienso que son simples pesadillas, Creo aun que son un sueño, Que puedo hacer si aun guardo la esperanza de verte. Sabes que la primera vez que me enamore, Se que no estaba preparada para reconocer que era amor, La segunda vez creo que hice todo lo posible para pensar que asi era, Que en realidad era verdadero amor, Esta vez esto abierta a conocer el verdadero amor, Se que sera la ultima vez que conocere el amor, Toda mi vida he estado esperando este momento, De encontrar el verdadero amor, Me estado preparando toda la vida para reconocer el amor verdadero, Despues de todo lo que aprendido, Finalmente se que es mi tiempo para conocer el amor.

At the right time,  At the right moment, I know it will be on the right moment I will meet you, Everything will be like a puzzle, Everything will fit perfectly, I try to hold back,  I know every night i pray for you, I know you will be the sunlight, You will give me the light this darkness needs, I know it will be you, It is only you.

When you see the mirror, I expect to see you on the reflection, It is the same every day, And nothing change, The one with dreams and hopes is gone, Everyday I am calling for help, I dont want to miss the days anymore, I want to yell for help, But my throat is close. I want to yell out load that I love you, That every situation, every moment worth something, I want to yell at you: I love you. But my reflection doesnt reply, I dont reply back, I am the only one that doesnt love what I see, What can I do?

By mistake I erase your memories from my mind, But i dont regret it, What should I do? I think everything have a reason, The same way i meet you, The same way I let you go, I dont have words for this, This is the moment I know this is the end for us, Without a word our love blossom, The same way it goes away, This is the time for the change, I need to do it for myself, I need to learn my lesson, Because everything start without a word, With a kiss we seal the deal that day, All this time I think what i miss it was us, In reality, what I miss it was myself, I miss me, The way I felt when you were around, Or the moment we used to have, But it is when I know I will forget you....

No quiero vivir mas sin ti, Te necesito en esta vida, Te quiero aqui conmigo, NO se como hacer para buscarte, No encuentro la manera de encontrarte, Has visto una foto y esta te hace llorar sin ninguna razon, No quiero vivir sin ti, Esta soledad me desgarra, Me hace sentir vacia, Saber que esta ahi, No quiero despedirme de esta vida sin verte al menos una vez cara a cara, Como puedo hacer para verte una vez? He visto tu rostro en sueños, Mi corazon te añora, Mi mente te busca, Quiero recordar porque veo esas fotos y muero por dentro, Las lagrimas se derraman cada vez que pienso en ti, Quiero entender porque se desgarra mi carazon al ver ese rostro, Quiero recordar en que vida te habia visto, Quiero saber donde nos conocimos, Porque mi corazon te añora, Porque estas lagrimas, Recordar porque no puedo vivir sin ti, Porque siento que eres el, Al que estoy esperando, Estoy cayendo en ese circulo vicioso, Estoy tratando de salir de el, Quiero encontrar el sol otra...

After all this days are not the best, not the best for me or my health. My mind is over working and over thinking... The worst is after all the thoughts and analysis, i dont know what i am missing... Maybe the worst part is I am scared of trying, Recognize that fear of losing again, I can live alone,that doesnt hurt anymore. But trying again it is the worst fear of all. Can i rise again if i fall? Can i love again and i am able to survive if they dont love me back? What is the worst can happen? Comfortable loneliness, When i think, i shouldn't hear the first time, In this life, I think i was not destine to find you, To find you again, The first time i was not prepare for it, It was not the right time, Without waiting for it, it showed up, And the same way it was gone, Without a warning, Without a word, I was not able to know that was stupid, That I was the villain in his story, I was not the heroine or the one for him, And the only thing I keep from it was th...

When I saw you, I don't have any words to describe it. I wish you next to me, The only thing is to remember your face, When I close my eyes, I can feel your eyes on me. When I saw you, I always behind of you....

Something is wrong with my mind It just does not work I'm not even a person when I'm without you You are that vitamin that suddenly dominates me If I have you, I do not notice you If I lose you, I miss you I feel that I am nothing without you Now, you are not here You will almost certainly walk with her Why I'm stupid? I go to practice, I dont get excited I open a book and I forget to read it At the very least, I can not sleep I am a hollow head A doll without a purpose, A kind of disaster You are not here I need you next to me, If I do not, I do not know what to do Why is it changing at times My being Until I become nothing I hear noises in the street I hear footsteps approaching Somebody knocks the door I'll see who it is It's you, I do not believe it Do not stay out, pass Have the key to my house You will not leave here

Let walk thru the floor like everybody hates me, Like nobody know you, Walking alone this time, You never allow someone to meet you and learn about your darkside, Your demons, The darkest place in your soul, La busqueda por las respuesta a cada una de mis reacciones, Quisiera encontrar la razon porque no permito que nadie me conozca, El miedo que sepan lo oscuro que puede ser aqui adentro, Creo que ni yo quiere conocer que es lo que existe aqui adentro, You never finish to know yourself, Even if you try to run away from it, The reality hits you so hard, The battle is imminent, I laugh in the darkness, you can hear the echo, Echo our your voice trying to reach the light, Trying to find help for your soul, I think or I know, the reason or sanity is not with me at this point, Can I lay down here and give up? I am so tired,

Emptiness, Nothingness, The hole in the wall, The one I used to see outside, It looks like the sun is shining there, But it's scary to cross the line, The wall is not that strong, But it's cosy and homy here, Why I need to take the chance to cross, Loneliness, Shallow hopes, My heart doesn't want to try again, It's scary, If I feel alive again, If learn to have hope again, And everything goes wrong, I don't have a heart to keep it together again, I almost lost myself last time, I was wondering without a purpose, I lost it last time, I was hard to find myself, Why to take a chance? Do you think I am strong enough for it? But nothing last forever, Suddenly I will not be able to leave even if I want too, I don't know what is more scary, Not able to leave this shallow way of survive life in a hopeless loneliness, Or find a reason to change it, But with the uncertainty of what will be the end result of my adventure, What is the worse of ...

The worse part of writing my thoughts is that they are only that words post in the space, they're only characters in the emptiness, they are nothing until someone read them. Otherwise, they are nothing.... I am here trying to thank you for the wonderful time and memories; lo gracioso es que cada una de las palabras que escribo se van borrando al mismo tiempo de mi corazón; what I am trying to do at this moment, erase you from my mind and heart? Ya no es doloroso recordarte, I think I don't regret my choice of let you go. Pero casa vez que recordaba tu nombre, tu rostro, tu voz; my heart stopped and pain was the worse. Sabiamos que las cosas no iban a durar, we have an ending for our story, yes, we didn't give up that easy, but our destiny was not together. En ningún momento esta dicho que eramos la última persona que íbamos amor, we were destined to be our first love and first kiss, our first everything. Siempre estaré agradecida por ello, por nadie iba a ser...

Today I talk about you, I remember every detail of your face, That smile, Even the sound of your laught, It is a funny thing to remember every single time we were happy, sad or teasing each other. The first time you kiss me, Well, to be honest I kiss you first, The shock in your face was priceless, I think you never expect it... Do you think it was a good time in your life? Or Do you regret it? I am repeating these days I will give me another change to fell in love again, To experience my last love, I dont believe you are able to love only once in your life time, And I think I was attach to the memories of all  my mistakes, Everything that I regret and all my wrong doing, I recognize today, I dont need a life support, I dont need to remember again all the bad things about us, The cruel memories, I think I am able to be quit now and I dont hear the voice telling me what I did wrong, If I hear them, they are asking me to stand up and fight, The fight is not aga...

Give me love, You are not able to ignore my request, At least this time, This day, I am vulnerable here, I am helpless, You left me powerless after your departure, Impotent, because you decide for both, Never ask my option, I am on my knees and feeling so weak, Why do you think this is for the best? Why did I do? Dont give the same excuses again, Because I dont deserve another one. Tell me only the true....

Tell me why are you so afraid to lose, You already hate yourself, You dont love your body, There is not other person but you who body shaming yourself, You have that piece of meat and bones, The only one to blame because of you body condition, But still, you never love yourself, You thought that was the only way to make your point against your mother requests, The only way, you were able to be on control of the situation, Still, you did everything, You never love yourself, You were waiting for someone to love you but even if they showed up, You never believed they like you, Why? Because you hate yourself.... Yes, yes, yes, You hate your body, You are ugly, you are nothing, You are not able to see yourself in the mirror, You are not able to say "I love you" to your reflection, You hate every time someone said "Wow, you look good" or "Wow, you are getting skinnier" Because you dont believe it, You are not able to see it, But why are you...

At the moment you dont know what to do, At the situation you never expect, Or you dont know what to do on it, You found yourself meeting the person you are waiting to see for so long, And it that specific moment you freeze, You try to avoid eye contact, You dont know what else to do, He is trying to see inside your eyes, He wants to approche, But you are to scared because you know you are not strong enough to stop your tears. You know how long you are waiting for this moment, This instant, this encounter, To find him in front of you, He is looking at you, He is standing there, For how long you were dreaming about this? I am not strong enough, I want to run to your arms, I need your arms around me. You keep your distance, trying to avoid him, But in the end, at the moment to say goodbye, I kiss you on the cheek, He reciprocates with a kiss on the cheek, But he didnt stop there, he kisses you next to your lips, Your heart is melting and...

It is a long way to the bottom, It is a long way to go up, It is a long way to find happiness, It is so easy to fall down, It is a long way to get up, May you believe that is enough? Enough reason to give up, It is not enough.....

The hole in my soul is getting bigger, It makes me feel scared, The world doesn't do anything to me, Only God knows what I am without you, Maybe I didn't know you or love you before, But I feel scared, if I don't meet you this time, I miss my chance to know you in this life. I feel like you already leave me, I know already how this life is without you, God knows how hard it is being without you, I may not always know it, I was never sure about it, I know I am not able to live without you, Well only God knows if I am with you, What difference on my soul, The shadow of human will be alive again, But he is the only who knows what I am paying this life. What are we done our past lifes? I feel like you are the only one that is able to write directly to my heart, I have opportunity in my past to love, But I was too young, naive and immature, I was not prepared to know what to do. I remember my first kiss, My first love, But I know it was not prepared for i...

Can stop it, Your world is on my pocket, Are you not able to take the true? What am I to direct at times? What? This is catching people off guard and make them uncomfortable. Are you afraid of the true? Am I such a big deal that you are not able to take it? Do you want it all? Can I push you? Can I push your buttons? What my openness and honesty is being disruptive. The facts are to much to you, You want me to omit drawing reasonable conclusions, conclusions, renderings opinions or fixing blame, even when it is reasonable. You dont trust me, How many time you are going to tell me that i appear arrogant, impatient or uninterested? Why am I talking to myself? I know the answers of each question, I am not ready to open to negotiation, I don't understand what others expect or need from me, I am not a team player, I am very competitive, even I have competition with myself. I know I am talking to myself, I wish to me someone else, I am not able to be candid with my...

Todo da vueltas en mi cabeza, The end doesnt look so bad, I lack confidence to act, I know what to to but I hesitate to do it, But what is my motivation? Maybe I am bored? Maybe I am burned out? Que es lo que quiero? I am ignoring my personal life, Why not? I push solutions before..... Me da miedo la respuesta, Esas respuestas que oigo en mi cabeza, No puedo pedir ayuda, No puedo ser yo misma, I am so unwilling to handle all the criticisms, complaints and special requests from others, I dont want to hear you, I am so afraid to lose against you, I am so afraid to lose myself, I can believe i am losing myself to you, I dont want to listen your demands, Tengo tanto miedo de perderme, La ironía es que ya lo estoy, Tengo tanto miedo de hacer el primer movimiento, De conocer a nuevas personas, Because I don't know myself, Tell me how are you able to introduce yourself if you don't know who you are? Esa es la razón porque no salgo, Me da miedo reconocer qu...

I want to be free, But it is unclear, What are you trying to tell me? This is the most cryptic communication What are our goals? Do we have one? Dont tell me, dont try to sell your words, Listen at least ones, I am not even your favorite, You love to play with me, You are cruel, too impatient to wait and structure a game plan, My lack of interest is making you mad, You like to work alone, Dont try to overly controlling my actions, Believe me you have a chilling effect in me, You are discouraging any idea or input, You are intolerant of disagreements, And the only thing you delegate is so small, That in the end the only one who know the big picture is you, You are overly directive, without creativity and initiative, You will never bring out the best of me. You are over controlling and look over people's shoulders, What do you thinking? What are you thinking now? You tell not ask, Where are you now? Where do I lost you? Biases and stereotyping may ply to muc...

Do you remember the first you saw your father cry? Do you know how many time his heart was broke? Do you found if he really believe in love? Do you blame yourself or others that you dont know the real meaning of "real love"? You spend your all life with keeping comfortable distance, Because you dont want to be hurt, But were you hurt before? Comfortable Distance...... Did I hurt someone with it? Or Did I have an exception? My heart hurts when I think about it, Is it because I know it is true, I never learn how to love before, I know about obsession, I know about attachment, obligation, I know about imposition, But nothing about love, But someone really know what is it love? You lie yourself, You are the reflection of your family and the way they make you believe what is "real love! The imposition of the true love, the only one..... The only one you need to love is yourself, Because if you dont love you, In the real world, no one will..... Becau...

Live with me, I promise I will not bother you next life, I will not try to find you, I will not go against the faith next life, But in this one be with me, Promise to be with me, Let live together, Let spend the rest of our lifes together, And next life I will give you away. This life is so heavy and hard, I really need you in my life, I really need you next to me, The words choke in my throat, I can let go.....?