Un diario dislexico

Todo da vueltas en mi cabeza, The end doesnt look so bad, I lack confidence to act, I know what to to but I hesitate to do it, But what is my motivation? Maybe I am bored? Maybe I am burned out? Que es lo que quiero? I am ignoring my personal life, Why not? I push solutions before..... Me da miedo la respuesta, Esas respuestas que oigo en mi cabeza, No puedo pedir ayuda, No puedo ser yo misma, I am so unwilling to handle all the criticisms, complaints and special requests from others, I dont want to hear you, I am so afraid to lose against you, I am so afraid to lose myself, I can believe i am losing myself to you, I dont want to listen your demands, Tengo tanto miedo de perderme, La ironía es que ya lo estoy, Tengo tanto miedo de hacer el primer movimiento, De conocer a nuevas personas, Because I don't know myself, Tell me how are you able to introduce yourself if you don't know who you are? Esa es la razón porque no salgo, Me da miedo reconocer qu...

I want to be free, But it is unclear, What are you trying to tell me? This is the most cryptic communication What are our goals? Do we have one? Dont tell me, dont try to sell your words, Listen at least ones, I am not even your favorite, You love to play with me, You are cruel, too impatient to wait and structure a game plan, My lack of interest is making you mad, You like to work alone, Dont try to overly controlling my actions, Believe me you have a chilling effect in me, You are discouraging any idea or input, You are intolerant of disagreements, And the only thing you delegate is so small, That in the end the only one who know the big picture is you, You are overly directive, without creativity and initiative, You will never bring out the best of me. You are over controlling and look over people's shoulders, What do you thinking? What are you thinking now? You tell not ask, Where are you now? Where do I lost you? Biases and stereotyping may ply to muc...

Do you remember the first you saw your father cry? Do you know how many time his heart was broke? Do you found if he really believe in love? Do you blame yourself or others that you dont know the real meaning of "real love"? You spend your all life with keeping comfortable distance, Because you dont want to be hurt, But were you hurt before? Comfortable Distance...... Did I hurt someone with it? Or Did I have an exception? My heart hurts when I think about it, Is it because I know it is true, I never learn how to love before, I know about obsession, I know about attachment, obligation, I know about imposition, But nothing about love, But someone really know what is it love? You lie yourself, You are the reflection of your family and the way they make you believe what is "real love! The imposition of the true love, the only one..... The only one you need to love is yourself, Because if you dont love you, In the real world, no one will..... Becau...

Live with me, I promise I will not bother you next life, I will not try to find you, I will not go against the faith next life, But in this one be with me, Promise to be with me, Let live together, Let spend the rest of our lifes together, And next life I will give you away. This life is so heavy and hard, I really need you in my life, I really need you next to me, The words choke in my throat, I can let go.....?