Un diario dislexico

No tengo voz, No tengo fe, No tengo esperanza..? I miss when everything was to ease, Everything was fine, I was so happy, I was waiting for the next day... But know.... I don't like to wake up anymore, I don't want to wait for tomorrow, Tomorrow is a bad word, It feels like a cure.... Cuando comienza el día, Mi cuerpo esta esperando no continuar, Esperando que todo termine, Que me motiva... Nada... Nothing... The emptiness... The hole in the wall.... I am nothingness....

I dont know you but I want to love you, I dont know your face but I already like it, I dont know your hands but I feel them in my skin, I dont know your voice but I can hear you. How long do I need to wait for you? Are you coming? Estos dias han pasado tan rapido sin poder escribir, Sin poder concentrarme, He pasado tan ocupada, Tan distraida, Tan ciega, Pensando en que todo es importante, Pensando que todos son mas importante, Olvidando que no puedo dejarme perder. I am losing myself, Because I need to take care of me.

Someone stole my heart, You walked to my heart and taken it but surprise, You took me back from the shadow, Where I feel I was broken, Don't ask me why, I knew from the first moment, That you came to my life, And you came to stay in. All of my life, I thought it was over, I swear you make me think that every word you said is about me, When you talk about what you want and how you see your family life in the future, It is like you have a conversation with me, Even that we never talk or meet before But when the sun come up next day, I know the difference between a lie and a dream. Can I be the one you talk about it? Can I be the one you dream in your life? Can I be her? Can I be the one you talk about in your stories? Can I be the one on your mind when you talk about love? If I am the one, I will not let someone to hurt you, I will dry your tears, I will by your side, I will hold your hand, And give you the support you need, I know to deserve it. Can I...

You ask me "How am I doing?" You are asking me like the time never stop, You want to hear me say "I am OK" Well, I am OK, Even if I am hiding my real emotions, Do you think I am able to be OK without you? Are you ok without me? Are you? My world without you is so hard, Breathing is so hard and heavy, What can I do? Even after all this time, Every word you said to me, they still hurt, Each of them were so painful. Tell me if I am doing something wrong, Because I am telling a lie, Acaso estas viviendo cada día con este mismo dolor que estoy teniendo yo?! I am going to far... Do you believe these words are in vain? Do you think I miss my chance to tell you the truth? I am breathless here, Thinking about you, I need to say it, In the distance between us, You need to know why I am here. This will be the way, we end it, This is OK for you, But I don't think I am able to handle these feelings, You are the only one that makes me heart bea...

Annoyed with you, Bored of your attitude, Depressed about the situation, Disgusted due your behavior, Disheartened in all my actions, Dispirited in all my reactions, Displeased with your answer and excuses, Drained all my energy, Exasperated because I was expecting something else, Failed, I failed you, I believe I was able to help you, Fatigue is the only thing my body is able to feel at the moment. Irritating with myself and my decisions, Fainting away my hopes, Nauseating because I failed, Sinking feeling of being in the edge, Weakness, Collapsing in my knees, You burn me out....

En silencio, A la distancia, Te tengo que ver... Why i am not able to be next to you right know? I miss your hugs, I miss your touch. Sabes que cuando te veo mi corazon se hace pequeño... No sabe que sentir, Pues siento alegria pero a la misma vez tristeza, It is possible to feel both at the same time. I want to see you happy, But at the same time, I want to be happy too, Ese es el problema, No se si vas a ser feliz si estas conmigo. Do you ever think "What is going to happen if we are together?" Podria ser que todo seria perfecto, O maybe this will be disaster, I dont want to know, I think it is better this way. Quiero verte feliz, Solo con ver esa sonrisa perfecta, I want you to feel complete again, Even that I am not part of your world.