Un diario dislexico

I need you here Next to me  Huggins me  Telling me that everything will be ok I need you That the only thing I need at the moment  Choose me Pick me Be by my side  I want to be selfish at least this time That the only thing I want  You waking up next to me  You carrasin my hair and hugging me when I cry Cry to loose all my frustration into your arms Felling your heart  Wishing everything and getting nothing in my life Wishing you  Needing you In the end, getting my hopes up  Let go and let run away  Let do it  You have the power and my heart  Let me go to sleep  And I will dream about you  Our life together  At least in them, I know I can be happy with you by my side

Sometimes I don't know I created someone that was able to survive and it was able to be alone...  But I am not  I don't deserve love Even my parents leave me alone  They searched for their own happiness and never thought to make me part of it I believe in love  To be happy ever after with one person Still I don't search for it Because who will choose me?  I have proof that I am not the first choice for anyone...  How can I be so willing to help everyone to be happy but not able to find happiness for myself?  How shitty can I feel every single time,  Doesn't matter who they are, they always want something from me but they never come to give me something  The only thing I need is their care and their love... I want to be their first choice... To belong 

Sometimes I wish to be the same naive little girl who believes that you will come and rescue me... Sometimes I wish that I could give up and stop fighting against the world...  Sometimes I feel like I am against my own wishes...  Sometimes I need to feel your hugs and kisses...  Sometimes I love you sometimes I don't...  Sometimes I think you want to be near by sometimes you run away...  Want to cuddle with you and you will comfort my sorrow, give me the confidence that I can carry on... Sometimes I wish you could be here when I need you the most but life keep us apart...  I wish upon a star that we will be together once again... 

Exilio es lo que deciste Estar lejos de todos los que amabas porque nunca viste tu valor para ellos más allá del sufrimiento que los hiciste pasar Jamás busco tenerte cerca después que los alejaste o los lastimaste tanto que pensaron que nunca los amaste Lo único que hiciste fue alejar a todos para que no vieran lo mal que estabas, lo que necesitabas que alguien te abrazara y que dijera que todo se iba arreglar, que tenías valor para ellos, que todo no era tan malo como creías, que la vida valía lucharla y salir de ese oyo era posible, que ellos podían ayudarte  Me duele saber que los ataques que hice iban hacer que nadie regresará a mi y el exilio es lo que elegí, porque ninguno de ellos se merece tener alguien tan quebrado como yo, no merecía amor, no meresco que nadie esté conmigo, el amor es algo que un día viví pero lo deje ir de mis manos por inmadurez y poco amor propio... 

When the days went by and I still have dreams about us... Missing something that will never become true... You will never come back to me...  I will miss you until my last day...  I will try to have someone by my side, and I am aware that he will never replace you or take your spot in my heart... People will think my face, smiley face and happy moments but they will never know what is really inside of my heart...  You are always on my mind, in my dreams and I always expect your return back home...  When I dream I always expect that you will be there hugging me and telling me that every will be OK...  I need your hugs today, please come to me and stay for the night...  I need you tonight... 

Picture perfect memories Scattered all around the floor Reaching for the phone 'cause, I can't fight it anymore And I wonder if I ever cross your mind For me, it happens all the time It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now And I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door Wishing you'd come sweepin' in the way you did before And I wonder if I ever cross your mind For me, it happens all the time It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now And I don't know how I can do without, I just …