Un diario dislexico

Here we go, The end is near. It is so close that I can taste it..... Todas las secuelas de estos días han sido grandes, Mi cuerpo los siente, Mi garganta lo sufre, Y aun asi no lo entienden. It is so close, but they are not able to understand the consequence of their actions. Why they don't think about others? I understand how things work, They think everything is for free.... Muchas veces me pregunto porque lo hago, Que gano con matarme y agotarme de esta manera, Pero cuando veo a uno de ellos triunfar, That makes everything worth..... The finish line is near.... I almost feel it... I am able to see it..... But it is a sower and sweet feeling.... I will not miss them, but I will miss the opportunity to make them better. I wish to do so much and help them more. Pero si ellos no desean que les ayude, No se puede cambiar a la gente, O forzarlos a mejorar si ellos no lo desean. Wish me luck, Because the end is near....

Failing Falling Down, Failing again, Falling Try to change everything, But nothing change, You try your best and every goes wrong. There is a true but no one is around, There is a door close by, But sometime they are only in my dream, I am keep search for the exit and you found only the walls. Can you feel like you are inside of the hole? And the only thing you are doing and trying is to stay alive. I dont want to keep watching the time. I want to continue my life, I need the sun rise again, To find that place, Where the sun rise and the colors dont die. Cuando veo a mi alrededor y me doy cuenta de lo complicado que es tratar de cambiar algo que no quiere ser cambiado. Se lo que puedo hacer de mi parte, pero que pasa si la otra persona no lo desea hacer? Me siento derrotada y eso es la peor sensacion que puedo tener en este momento. En el momento que ves a tu alrededor y dicen que vos sos el problema, ves como pasa las cosas, sabes que tenes un cierto grado de cu...

Sadness is around me, I dont even know why I am sad today, I think, maybe, I am missing someone, The funny part is that i dont have a clue who am I missing.... I am praying to the sky, To God, To bring the peace in my heart, To bring the sun to me, To bring the warm in my life, Because it is cold inside. The sadness is in my eyes, The tears come and go, Every time I think about life, About the future, Where I will be? Can I be next to the sun? Every cycle in life is different, But the promise to be happy, The realization about the meaning of happiness at this point of my life, It is not the same one that i have long time ago, It is not that i expect a superhero to rescue the poor princess, I dont expect someone with super powers, Only someone, who is able to never let me down!

You can not see, This is my choose, And even sleeping with the light on, Because the darkness is closing by, I only have one chose, I know you don't have a clue, But you are my life support! My life is yours, The darkness is here, You are the only light on it, Even the light around me, They are not bright enough to eliminate the darkness around me. Please smile to me, This will bight the day, I can not play it cool, Don't let me down, I found you....

Do you think I lost you? Or I lost myself waiting for you... What happen when you use all your cards in the same hand? Do you think this will have a different outcome? This is getting scary every day, Because I love you. Do you ever feel like a fool? Believing you are the only one, That person is not playing the same game, The outcome will be you will lose again. I know I am a fool, I can feel you go away every time I try to get closer to you, Dont worry, I am playing to lose, Why? You will ask, Well, it is because I am a fool. My heart hurts when I think of you, But also, smile and jump because of you, At the same time, are you able to cry and smile? I know I can stand it every time, Because it is you....

No tengo voz, No tengo fe, No tengo esperanza..? I miss when everything was to ease, Everything was fine, I was so happy, I was waiting for the next day... But know.... I don't like to wake up anymore, I don't want to wait for tomorrow, Tomorrow is a bad word, It feels like a cure.... Cuando comienza el día, Mi cuerpo esta esperando no continuar, Esperando que todo termine, Que me motiva... Nada... Nothing... The emptiness... The hole in the wall.... I am nothingness....

I dont know you but I want to love you, I dont know your face but I already like it, I dont know your hands but I feel them in my skin, I dont know your voice but I can hear you. How long do I need to wait for you? Are you coming? Estos dias han pasado tan rapido sin poder escribir, Sin poder concentrarme, He pasado tan ocupada, Tan distraida, Tan ciega, Pensando en que todo es importante, Pensando que todos son mas importante, Olvidando que no puedo dejarme perder. I am losing myself, Because I need to take care of me.

Someone stole my heart, You walked to my heart and taken it but surprise, You took me back from the shadow, Where I feel I was broken, Don't ask me why, I knew from the first moment, That you came to my life, And you came to stay in. All of my life, I thought it was over, I swear you make me think that every word you said is about me, When you talk about what you want and how you see your family life in the future, It is like you have a conversation with me, Even that we never talk or meet before But when the sun come up next day, I know the difference between a lie and a dream. Can I be the one you talk about it? Can I be the one you dream in your life? Can I be her? Can I be the one you talk about in your stories? Can I be the one on your mind when you talk about love? If I am the one, I will not let someone to hurt you, I will dry your tears, I will by your side, I will hold your hand, And give you the support you need, I know to deserve it. Can I...

You ask me "How am I doing?" You are asking me like the time never stop, You want to hear me say "I am OK" Well, I am OK, Even if I am hiding my real emotions, Do you think I am able to be OK without you? Are you ok without me? Are you? My world without you is so hard, Breathing is so hard and heavy, What can I do? Even after all this time, Every word you said to me, they still hurt, Each of them were so painful. Tell me if I am doing something wrong, Because I am telling a lie, Acaso estas viviendo cada día con este mismo dolor que estoy teniendo yo?! I am going to far... Do you believe these words are in vain? Do you think I miss my chance to tell you the truth? I am breathless here, Thinking about you, I need to say it, In the distance between us, You need to know why I am here. This will be the way, we end it, This is OK for you, But I don't think I am able to handle these feelings, You are the only one that makes me heart bea...

Annoyed with you, Bored of your attitude, Depressed about the situation, Disgusted due your behavior, Disheartened in all my actions, Dispirited in all my reactions, Displeased with your answer and excuses, Drained all my energy, Exasperated because I was expecting something else, Failed, I failed you, I believe I was able to help you, Fatigue is the only thing my body is able to feel at the moment. Irritating with myself and my decisions, Fainting away my hopes, Nauseating because I failed, Sinking feeling of being in the edge, Weakness, Collapsing in my knees, You burn me out....

En silencio, A la distancia, Te tengo que ver... Why i am not able to be next to you right know? I miss your hugs, I miss your touch. Sabes que cuando te veo mi corazon se hace pequeño... No sabe que sentir, Pues siento alegria pero a la misma vez tristeza, It is possible to feel both at the same time. I want to see you happy, But at the same time, I want to be happy too, Ese es el problema, No se si vas a ser feliz si estas conmigo. Do you ever think "What is going to happen if we are together?" Podria ser que todo seria perfecto, O maybe this will be disaster, I dont want to know, I think it is better this way. Quiero verte feliz, Solo con ver esa sonrisa perfecta, I want you to feel complete again, Even that I am not part of your world.

I am tired, Even if I try to tomorrow, I will be tire, I don't have more strength, How to get inside your head, You only hear what it's convenient, Please let in...

No es posible tener que estar en esta situación, Es tan increíble que las cosas se tienen que dar de esta manera. I dont understand the reason this situation is going over and over again. Do you understand the importance of your decisions? Me frustra tanto, Me enfurece tanto darme cuenta que no podemos a donde queremos ir, no tener un objetivo. Que nos conformamos con lo que tenemos, o al menos creemos que son suficientes para sentirte bien. But tell me, do you ask what they expect from you? Do you by any change ask and try to do what they expect from you? If you dont like it, Tell me why are you still here? Dont give me that bullshit that is because you dont give up!!!! You already give up long time ago...... Espero que estes teniendo el mejor momento de tu vida en este momento, O al menos que te estés engañando, porque vos sabes que eso no es cierto. You are not OK, you have problems to see the true?!?!?!? You want me to open your eyes, at this point i am not able to...

The angel's feathers are falling, And the only thing I'm able to do, It's watching them fall, The weather is cold and windy, All around you is freeze in time. They ask you to stay, Not to move from that spot, Because they will come back, You stand their waiting, The night come and you know they aren't coming back, But your hopes are up. Everything was a lie, You are aware it was a lie, Will you wait for him endlessly? Don't lie again, You trusted his promises, You think that he would come to you again. And every was a lie, Now you are frozen inside, You don't allow me to enter, You are scared to trust again, I am telling you again and again, You don't need to take the blame, This event was not you fault, You are a good person, This is not a lie. I don't know how long I am able to hold you, I want to cure all your wounds, I know I am not qualified to heal you, I am not the one you want to ask for forgiveness. I am waiting end...

The words I speak alone, The promise I make alone, The walks I do alone, All of them are all natural to me. Clamorous mind in my lonely nights again, Thinking alone, Wishing alone, Noise of my previous life, My body is tired, All of this is all natural at this point. Some people don't understand, Some of them feel sorry for me, They don't understand, To be alone is comfortable, I don't need to worry about them, All around me become lies. At this time being comfortable is OK, Alone at night, Sleeping alone, Living alone, Being alone, This is all natural to me. Everyone think "she is so sad", They are worried, I wish to say it once... I am not ok, I am feeling uncomfortable, The way people look at me, I am not trying to use them, Even if they look at me, They are not trying to be with me, That why I walk alone, Sleep alone, Being alone feel more natural to me, This is more comfortable to me.

You want to fix the world, You need to find the way, You wish to win them, You want to explode, You need to carry the world, You wish to receive a response, But you continue carrying the world. You watch them pass, Some of them are in peace, Some of them are in war, You need to change their minds, You want to change their lives, But you are not able to continue carrying their world. What you want? Can you change them all? What happens if they don't want to change their world... Can you continue trying?

Being with someone and feel alone, Hugging and feel the emptiness between my arms, Faking the smiles and the small talks, Being kind with you, move by guilt, Watching around and trying to find comfort in someone else's eyes. At least ones, Do you know what I am feeling? I want to scream "I don't love you" What are you waiting? You want to make me pay, This is the highest price, At this moment, Even routine is not enough, This is to heavy, I am not able to carry on. Are you able to give up? "I don't love you" are the first words in my lips every time we see each other, Don't let me drown in sorrow, Let me go. Please, tell me you know this is not love, Routine killed us. At night, I sit in my empty room, Thinking how to end it, And the most bizarre thing is that I am waiting for you to end it, Because I am a coward and I am to afraid to feel the loneliness alone...

Until today, I realise that I am carrying the world in my back, I thought it was my fault, I was someone who given everything to you, But for you that was not enough, You need more, Just having you, it was enough for me, Based in your letter, I am someone who couldn't give everything to you, I give up, I will let this go easier, Back then, when I thought we used to love each other, I think I was to excited that I was no able to see the truth, I used to look like I own the world, All my memories are not complete if you wasn't there, I can't picture myself like that, I think this is the way I am, Maybe I went to far ahead about us, And that why I ended up lost and alone, Living a lie, it was hard and painful for you, You used to cry like the world has come to an end, I was not able to keep you, Now, I am not able to imagine you with me, Do you forget about us? I was so bad for you, wasn't I? I want to see your face, the face I cannot forget, I pic...

Mad clown tell me why are you so sad, Even if I try, you know I am not able to stop this tears, Don't get mad, If I want to hold your hand, If I want to hug you tight, And I cry in the process, Let me be, my mad clown. That only thing I am asking you is to understand, I am taking all of you, My heart is opening at this feeling, Don't get mad, I am only asking you is to smile, I know you don't want to leave me. It is something you need to understand, My feelings are in the surface, I will cry for every memories we share,  Just let me cry. You want to fix everything, You think it is necessary to solve our problems, You need to trust me, The only thing I am begging you, Just smile, my beautiful and mad clown. You don't need to feel guilty, I know my lips will ask you to stay with me, My hands will try to hold you tight, Remember I love you, But I know you are not able to stay with me. Onces again, This will not be our story, Feel free to ...

Only my eyes are able to see, The beautiful of you eyes, My ears are able to recognize only your voice, Your tone of voice is like music to my heart, Possibly, it is something wrong my head, Even when you are not around, I am able to hear your voice, My hands are yearning your touch, Do you think that I like you now? Or maybe I am going crazy? It is confusing, I believe I am the only one to be able to see your true self, Even if I try to close my eyes, Your face pop up, But I can't refuse this happiness to my heart, It is a beautiful life since you are here.

I am thinking how the world was before I met you, It was so bright, wasn't it? Things change after we met? Or is only my imagination! You told me "After I saw you, it felt like my first breath. It felt like my first breath of life" This is how the last time, that you fell in love, feel like? When you love someone, you suppose to feel this fearless about the future. I like it, Watching you close to me, Reachable for my touch, I am fluttering, And sometimes jealous for all the time you spend with other people before we met, I wish to meet you before, But I need to remember, it wasn't our time to meet in our past. The darkness past, The black skies, You came as the most beautiful sunshine, And you make my lonely world to be complete again, I know this will end one day, But before I will let you go, I love to see Spring comes, The blooming flowers around us, I know all the ordinary moments will make me cry. I am selfish and I want to be happy, ...

My heart beats so hard, I think I wasted my time before, I gave to much before to someone, I gave it all, But my heart and my body know this is different. Every day is showing me, everything is changing, I can feel it, My heart is opening for you, You are walking to my world and my heart, Can I call it a miracle? I am breathless, I want to cherrish every morning with you by my side, Remember every detail of your face, your eyes, your hands, And how they feel in my hair, I want only to remember you in this moments, Only remember your lips in my mouth. You blew my mind, Heaven is with you, In your hands, your voice, your eyes, Heaven is when I am with you, I was not able to imagine that I will find happiness under this sky, You make me smile. I closed my eyes and daydream, I never expected to have so beautiful dreams, Now, I confess that every time I smile when I close my eyes, Because you are in them, I thought I need to give up, I thought I have no hope,...

I wish for heaven to come, After a tiredday, When I come back to my home, We'll, this place doesn't feel like my home, Have that unfamiliar weirdly feeling, Unknown suffocation, Sometimes I repeat to myself "it is OK" Minutes, hours, days and weeks have passed, And still feeling the same, I repeated so many times everything is OK, I keep on staring at the sky, I feel like the time is only passing by, Do you think I am losing my mind? I am blaming myself for so many things, I am laughing at myself for being so foolish and feeling pathetic, I want you so bad, But I don't want to wait any more, Because when I can't expect any longer, My emotions are pouring from my skin, What can I do know? Time goes by, Mindlessly, I miss you, I keep thinking about us, Even when I go to bed crying myself out, Do you feel the same way? Do you miss me? Do you ever think about us? I am only wishing that I wouldn't love you any more, Sorry but I can...

It wasn't you, I heard my phone rings, My heart jumps and makes me hope, Hope to hear your voice, To found out you were here, It wish so hard to hear your voice. But it wasn't the case, It was the past, The past calls asking for a meeting, To meet again and ask for a favor, A favor that it will have a great price, Or a impact to my spirit. The consequences are bigger than you think, The past is the past, If I don't want to talk with it, I am trying to move forward, Always learning from it, But I don't want to deal with my past, I accept the consequences of my previous actions, Why I need to still talk about my past or with it.... I don't want to hear about it, The past is the past, I am not innocent, I am not perfect, I am not able to forget what I did wrong, But I want to grow up, I wish to find myself and you, I will not miss my chance to move forward...

How hurt are you that you are not able to trust people, How hard is to believe in others, Why I lost faith in people? I miss when I was ignorant, I didn't know about how hard life could be, Sadness win me over, When I remember how navie I was, I love to believe in people, I like to see the goodness in everyone, But I need to grow up. When you are nice, They think you are dumb, When you are strong, They think you are harsh and a bad person, What they want? I want to stop, I will like to fight, But my spirit is so tired, Even in my dreams, I fight with people, I am not able how these things happen. I don't know if i will give up.... But I don't want to do it.... It is not me, I want to believe in everyone.... Still hurts.....

When you meet someone, You don't know what you get, He could be nice and easy going or a pain in the.... When I met him, I was not able to stand him, He was the worst person ever, Noisy and loud, We hated him so much, In the end, after several fights, We started liking him, He showed us a different way to see life, How good is to be positive, That you need to know everything can change if you have a different attitude towards your problems. "life will trout you lemons, use them to make margaritas" he always said. You win our hearts, Even when we left the country, You were there, You were one our best friends, Almost as a sibling. One thing change everything, One night, that night, After you birthday party, No one knows what happened, They found you after the accident, They said it was a miracle you were alive, But that night our friend die. Even if your body wake-up, You weren't there, Your body tried to give up several times, But your fam...

Waiting for something to change, People doesnt change that easy, I dont know what to think, I dont expect anything anymore, I am so tired of everything, I want to travel, People are so slow and dont pay attention, They want everything so easy, Can I run away? People ..... I am not able to lost all hope, I want to cry so hard, It is so frustrated to try and nothing go thru, Or what can I do? Everything around me is falling apart, That is the worse, I want to do it, But I need to cry, Because ..... This is the worse time.... to feel weak.....

Day comes and go, Things don't sound good, Nothing have senses, I wish to be in a different place, My heart hurts so much, I don't want to see you suffer this way. Can I help you? Are you able to trust me? Because I want to be there for you.... I will there to protect you, With all my love, I will be there, You need to trust other, When you felt in a hole, You need to know when to ask for help, too I will be there all the time, You don't need to even to search for the help... Don't judge people base in your previous relationship, Not everyone is the same, People don't run away because the situation is difficult, It is an easy thing to do and believe they want to use you, But for real, Don't you know how valuable you are! Good people is coming to your life and they will change everything, Wonderful times are coming for you! Trust me!

I am not perfect, Sometime we dont feel like we deserve love, I wish to understand why this happen to each of us, We need to learn that is not true, Please, remember we are perfect in our oneway, We try to hard to please other, Dont change yourself, We dont have to do that, I know you feel like you are nothing, Please, believe your value. Their is always a turn in point, We have a lesson to learn in time, I have my tattoos to remember each of these times, Each of my memories, Each thing that make me change, Good or bad, They make me change, Independence was the difference in my life, I understand for the first time who I was. •••

Because I am Stupid, Because I dont know what to do with myself, I feel happy when I see you picture, I foolish myself, I know you are not even close, I won’t be in your days, I won’t be in your memories, Acknowledge this reality, It hurts my heart. Between my lips, The words “I love you” are trying to escape, Alone again, here in my room, Alone again, missing you, I really want to see you today, Are you able to come? I am here creating memories by my own… Loving you is the most beautiful wound, I look at you, Your smile is so beautiful and lovely, But I want to make you smile, I wish to be the reason of it. I need you, I can’t stop hopping for it, I can’t stop working for it, I think about you all day, But at night i miss you the most, Are you able to come and hug me? •••

When the days go by, Can you imagine what is going to happen that day? Or Can you set the theme? I am asking because I can't, I try so hard to relax in my dreams, But recently is not possible. Oh my dreams, I don't know if i need to feel this is a nightmare or a dream, This is not the time that everything is clear, Look in the mirror with a wedding dress, And you are not sure with who you will marry with.... All of my life, I am running away from this day or that day, But far I can see, It was only you and me, I am not sure if I was in love, Or this was the last time i was in love... Going to the altar, I am not that confident of that statement, Then, I dream again, Not the same place, Not the same scenario, But still, I was running again, I was not confident or comfortable with the situation, Finally I understand, I don't have any attachment with him anymore, My heart doesn't ache anymore for him, That why I am dreaming again?

Today, I realize.... Everytime I walk by your house, My heart beats faster, The memories run again, And every pass so slow... All of these make me... I never though I will be here, I never knew I will remember everything, I never hate you, like I do right now... I never need you, like I do right now... The standard, The requirements, The dreams, The hopes, All of that came from someone else mind, Not from here.... She wants me to be a model, He wants me to be happy, They want me to be rich, And I want.... I didn't know what I want to be.... I need you, But it is possible that I don't, I love you, But it is a habit of me to think that, I want to save me, But I learned no one will do it for you. I never knew all these tears meant something, But not for someone beside myself. They don't know what happened, Or how hard it was...... So I don't know if i cry, They are for pain or relief....

One day at this hour, One of our friends call me, She told me you are not longer with us, You were gone, "Dont cry please, ... is gone, ... " Still, I can believe it, We talk few days ago, You were the sun, Your smile means a lot for us, But life, the everyday life, Take us a part. You work so hard to have what you want, To study and work, To live your life the way to want to do it, But why you take your life, Why to take everything you work for and not fight for it! Did you feel alone? Did you think no one love you? Why you do it? We miss you, We dont know the reason, We dont have the why, No one is able to know what is going on in someone else mind, Each person feels alone, Forgot, Without any other way, Without a hope, There is not other exit, I know how the pain felt, I know how lonely is it, But I never try to hurt myself, Please tell me why you thought this was the only way?

The light are on, You are to see thru the window, What can I do? I am able to see your shadow, Can I call you? Can I ask you how are your doing? Can you answer this time? The memories of us, Everything around me have your fragrance, All the cold memories, They are freeze in the time, I don´t know if I am able to remember your face, I am being a fool, The room feels so cold. I regret that i push you away, I push your heart away, I made you go far away, The decision I regret the most, At 3 am, I remember our last conversation, I ask you about your day. Our happiest days are so far gone, My head is fill of guilt, I was a coward, You make me laugh, You make me happy, You take care of me, You look so good when you smile, I wish I will be the reason if you smile again, But I lost all hope. Our love is gone, I miss you, I need to be honest to me, I love you ......

Someone ask me 2 years ago if I will take a cat for adoption, I never thought about it, I never thought I will stay for to long in this place, A pet, that means you need to be responsible, I am not able to run away anymore. Everything change, When I agree to take her, I made a huge step, I admit to stay, Not possible to let her alone. Now,  She is part of my life, She made me change, Start of the change, A small car, Make me realize I am able to love again, She makes me care for someone else. It was therapeutic, To learn to love again, Yes,  The first step for a very long walk, I don´t know what is going to be the next step, I will start not walk alone anymore. Who will be with me? I don´t know yet, I know who I wish to be.....

It happen a day, I never expect this situation, I never thought about it, I give away any hope and dreams, But that was a moment that everything was clear, I never thought I need to ask anything else, After everything I learn about life, And how cruel is it. I saw you, It was so fast, The impression was so deep, Still, I don't have words to describe it, This is a miracle unfold... You make me think about changes, How good they are, You make me wish for a different ending, Not to let me waste. It is hard to believe in me, I don't know why my life change that day, I don't know why your face make me feel again, I don't know why I want to walk by your side, I know I want to see you face to face, I know I want to feel your arm around me, I know I need to change to be able to find you. This is not the first time I see you, This is not our first life together, I think this time takes longer to meet again, This time,...

When the days pass, Some of them in a slower pace, Maybe they go to slow! Other go so fast, Then I found out you are not here, You run with them, I wish to hold them, That was the only way to have you near, But I remember, I need to forget about you! The memories are the pain I feel on my chest, The thrill, The sensation of you skin in my skin, My heart is pumping so fast, The stir, Your taste! No, This is too much, No more, I wish you here, The stamp in my skin, my head and my heart, It is my fault that you are not here, I push you away, I never fight for you, And maybe you didn't fight back!! But I know I am the responsible one of this outcome. These days I know what is right and what is wrong! I got the change several times to have someone next to me, The promise to fill the space in the bed, But not in the heart..... I try to hide behind the drugs and drinks, I try to fill the blank space with them, But the pain is pouring around, it is insid...

Relationships, She is trap in one, Why she is not able to understand that love is not suffer and pain? It is possible for her to grown in it, Do you think so? Loneliness makes people to attach them to one person, She is attach to someone that is a child, What do I feel most hurtful? I know how much she want to have a family, She wants to fell that she belong to someone, She cries alone, thinking no one will be able to hear her. But even if she hide, I am able to hear her pain. How hard is to understand? Sometime you need to understand, Don't trust your dreams, hopes and your path to someone else, Dont trust nobody, because nobody trust you. Even your mom believes she know best, But no one will not know the best role for you, Because you are the main character on your life, If you let them tell you what to do, That is your problem. I hate to see her cry, The pain, the sorrow, the guilt, Why do you think you deserve all of this? You feel trap in you bad drea...

I don't want you to see me, but I want you to know who I am, it's impossible not to think about you Everytime I'm laying down my bed, I see the ceiling , And the only thing I'm able to imagine is your face, How wonderful will be to have you next to me, Are you able to come? If we meet, are you able to recognize me? Do you see me in your dreams? I miss your face, You don't know who I am! If I lay here, Are you coming back? After I see it all, My heart wonders how this will feel, You change my life. These are the thoughts of q dyslexic's mind, The one who is not able to find the way, Or the path to follow up, The moment I saw you for the first time, My heart explode and feel something after so long. Even if you don't have an idea, I found a reason to fight, Change my ways, I know that I am not perfect, But I will work for it. The road of my broken dream end here, Because we met before, We will meet again, Are you going to kn...

I have been watching my reflection, Hoping to find something, I think i lost it long ago, But recently, I am able to see glitch of it, Maybe because I never thought it was there. I am able to recognize my face, It is not the one I was waiting for, I was trying to find the image of a girl with dreams, Unfortunately i found a woman, The one I need to turn to be able to survive, But I lost the girl dreams and hopes in the process. I have a glance of that girl yesterday, I think she found me again, I want her to find me, I know the dreams are my fuel, The energy that will make me to move forward, The purpose to find a way Without hope, I will not able to survive anymore.

She saw herself in the edge, She knows this is not the path they want me to follow, "When will I be the girl they want me to be?" How is it possible to be true with to kings? One of them, it is the people she care about; The other one is herself. Everything is calling her to cross the line, To move forward and find a new path, She belongs somewhere else, She doesn't know how far she will go, Every trail, she takes lead to the same place, Making her to think what is on the other side. Every fiber inside her, It is calling her, She is staring to the other edge, She knows everything will be new, Full of new experiences, challenges, risks..... But she is not able to quiet her mind, Her instinct is calling her "What is wrong with me?" She is able to her as an echo: "This is where you supposed to be" That why she needs to go, She doesn't know how far or long will take, At this moment, she knows, she will be able to go thru. Sh...

You see people around you, You see them happy, sad, satisfied, frustrated, But you ever wonder how they looked at you? I was different I was not always this way I talked in a different way I didn't care about my body I was careless My philosophy was "Let it be and live the now" Why do you change? What happen to you? Sometimes I blame myself for the choices, My reactions, The plans, I never follow, My visceral reactions to all that happen to me, Never think before I act. I felt rock bottom, I was not able to hide anymore more, Everybody try to hide and use a mask, It could be sock or buskin mask, But they hide from the reality, Trying to earn empathy from other, Or simple they are afraid of themself. I am scared, I am afraid to be alone, I am scared to be alone with my thoughts, I am afraid to feel something again, I am broken inside, I am scared to be love again, I am afraid to feel insecure again, I am not worth the effort to be love, I...

Ignorance is a wonderful state of mind, Or you are too naive, maybe a little lost within your dreams. Why am I asking this? I see around me and people is deceiving you. Why you want to believe in their lies? It is more comfortable to think they are their for you, Remember that: People is searching relief in others and sometime in the wrong ones, People believe your words without thinking if their lies, People only think what they are going to gain in the end, People will say anything to win points with you, People will play with your feelings and they will not care if you are hurt in the end, People will use anybody for pleasure and relief their stress, also to forget all their pains. I will try to forgive but not to forget, I was used before, It is funny to remember it, Each of your lies, Lies within my scars, Lies within my sorrow, But if you need someone, Doesn't matter how bad it was, I will be there for you. I don't want to change you, I will not ...

Memorable quotes for Revolutionary Road: "Hopeless emptiness. Now you've said it. Plenty of people are onto the emptiness, but it takes real guts to see the hopelessness." The night is near, The demons are walking around me, In the darkness, the trees are full of stars' lights, I know it is a way for all of this to end, Without love maybe, I know I am able to live pretending to love, I know everything will be the same, Without feeling, I know I am able to survive the true, And without a friend? I walk around the city alone, Because I know I am able to live inside my head. All alone, I am able to walk with him until morning, Without him, I am able to have his arms around me, In the darkness, I am able to see beside me, But I know this is only in my mind, I know he is not mine, But still, I repeat to myself "they is a change for us" Without him, My world crumble, Without me, His world doesn't change, He is surrounding of happin...

It was a time that everything went wrong, Before that everything had a light of hope, Dreams was made and you thought everything will be fine, You didn't need to pay for your decisions. All your decisions have a price that you are paying today, Now I am all alone, On my own,  Pretending that you are beside me, And I know that is only in my mind, This is the heavy and highest price I pay, I am paying to be free and take my own decisions. I stand in the rain, Feeling the drops running in my skin. This is the only way I am able to make believe he is near, This is the way you are able to live in my head. All alone, but still you are able to walk beside me You are here. With him, I am able to feel his arms around me, In this darkness,  I know I only having a conversation with myself, Without him, My world around me change, My life is full of strangers, But I know I am only pretending, Because without me, His life is full of ha...

After they enter the hall, I am looking from afar, They are saying their vows... Who is these people? Why is it making fell so sad? They promise to love each other. To be true to their love and faith in each other... Then I hear your voice, You start to whisper in my ear: "For better or for worse, I will be in your best and worse days, I will not let you go, even everything and everyone will question our love, You are my home, You are the one, the only one I was waiting for all this time, Don't run away from me, I know I am not perfect even everybody think so, I have a bad temper and some bad habits, But we have the rest of our life to know each other, Because I want to hold your wrinkle hand in our old age, I love you simple and genuinely" After you finish these words, And as an echo, I was able to hear: "You are not longer two people, From now on, you are only one, What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate." How will...

«Mi vida y mi pensamiento luchan desesperadamente por arrancar el manto de impureza de mi corazón, pero mi cuerpo, lleno de sangre y de calor, se arroja sobre las llamaradas geniales de la pasión... la pasión es en mí algo que me da muerte y me da vida al mismo tiempo: muerte al cuerpo y vida al espíritu... Yo amo las pasiones y las detesto, porque mi espíritu es doble... mi voluntad está muerta y por eso soy un náufrago en la pendiente escabrosa del amor... ¡Cuándo terminará mi calvario carnal! Todos los días mi cuerpo es más fuego y mi alma más alta. ¿Cuándo alcanzaré felicidad y amor de verdad? ¿Cuándo seré limpio de amor trágico y de corazón? ¿Cuándo amaré a lo que me ama?»

Dreams, Oh, my dreams I wake up with the feeling they are real, Well I wish they were real, But in the end, I know you are not next to me, I know this is not true, But I am able to wish for it In my awakening your face dissolve from my hands, Every morning I try to keep you, I need to recognize the results is the same every time, Your face is next to mine, Can I make the decision not to wake up anymore? Reality is so heavy, You don't have any idea, I saw you, Our life, so much better, I feel like I lose my white rabbit, That why i don't know if i feel more pain or sorrow, Maybe everything I see in my dreams are a parallel life, I need to recognize you make me happy, My imagination gives me peace of mind, But at this moment that I am awake, What do I feel pain or sorrow? It is necessary to change my life, Wake up!!!!

I feel you, I feel you again And in every second that I think of you, I choose you again In every glance you melt into me. Make me laugh, make me cry, Make me feel, make me doubt Make me lie, even swear Make me pretend, make me want. I think of you and write again And every word brings you to me. Make me die make me live Te siento, te vuelvo a sentir y en cada segundo que pienso en ti, te vuelvo a elegir en cada mirada te derrites en mi. Hazme reir, hazme llorar, Hazme sentir, hazme dudar Hazme mentir, hasta jurar Hazme fingir, hazme desear. Te pienso y vuelvo a escribir Y cada palabra te trae hasta mi Hazme morir, hazme vivir

The Cat only grinned when it saw Alice. It looked good- natured, she thought: still it had very long claws and a great many teeth, so she felt that it ought to be treated with respect. ’Cheshire Puss,’ she began, rather timidly, as she did not at all know whether it would like the name: however, it only grinned a little wider. ‘Come, it’s pleased so far,’ thought Alice, and she went on. ‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ ’That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat. ’I don’t much care where—’ said Alice. ’Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat. ’—so long as I get somewhere,’ Alice added as an explanation. ’Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.’ Alice felt that this could not be denied, so she tried another question. ‘What sort of people live about here?’ ’In that direction,’ the Cat said, waving its right paw round, ‘lives a Hatter: and in that direction,’ waving the other p...

First step: You repeat in your head everything you did that day, each of your reaction, each of your comments until you find out that the universe is mocking you for your insignificant decisions and that is what make you a human. Second step: You start to find a logical order to all your action, perhaps that will make them have a reason to be and maybe the final result is what you expect. Maybe that way, a human is able to live a life without complications or at least lower them out. Third step: Stop the overthinking, we will do some stupid things or they will cross our minds. For better or for worse we will fail sometimes, not everything will work out. That is part of being a human, you can try your best but the end result is pure fait. Fourth step: Never give up, if you have a goal, try everything and go for it. The established standards said that you can't do it, why i will listen to them. I am able to risk everything to reach the sky. You need to risk it all: time, money,...

Do you remember when we were together? Do you remember each of my face details? Because I remember each of it, How your eyes wrinkles, your hair felt in my skin, The one that I remember the most is your laugh. Do you believe that was my only change to be happy? Do you have any types of regrets? Do you remember me at all? Because sometimes I do miss you, But how many time I notice the most importance thing is: I will not be me if I stay with you In the end of the day, I don’t have regrets, I know who I am, Yes, I confess I wish to have someone here, Next to me and feel protect inside of his arms, The need of love and care from someone, But that the only thing I miss. You are the image of care and love for me, I miss that situation, That moment, You are the only one, At least the first and only one at this moment That allows me to experience all of that. What do I miss? I miss the feeling, I wish to feel it again but with one else.

Do you ever question yourself why are you running away? Do you think I am a believer? Always overthinking everything and find that it is not possible to find the reason to stay. I think a know the reason and answer to my no ending questions: Why do i run away? Why i keep running away? I am running away from myself, It is because of me. I am able to works and live, but I am not what i want to be There is part of me, I don't take seriously, I wish to be something else, I saw my imagine on the mirror and I don't believe it is good enough. Even some people is telling me: "You are I good enough", My family doesn't believe I am good enough, I wish them to be with me, Without them I feel alone, It hurts not having them around. If I run away again, the distance will makes this feeling go away. Distraction, Yes I need them Work is my number one option, Work makes me feel good, I want to stop thinking about everything, Thinking about what I am missin...

Fragmento "Despojos" "Amor, lo que se llama "El Amor", pienso que sólo ocurre una vez en la vida. Pienso que la promiscuidad de los seres humanos se debe a esa búsqueda, que no todos queremos admitir a nivel racional ni consciente. Pero estamos buscando algo que nos hace muchísima falta. Buscamos al socio, la contraparte, el compañero. Buscamos lo que complemente todas nuestras necesidades afectivas, las que cargamos desde que somos niños. Todo lo que nos negaron desde nuestra infancia, todo lo que nos torcieron los adultos y la zoociedad en el camino del crecimiento. Buscamos compensar todo ello con el mito del amor." "Sueña Arcadia, como todas las niñas / muchachas / mujeres / viudas y ancianas que conozco, con la llegada de un famoso personaje, conocido en el mundo de la zoociedad romántica como "El Príncipe Azul"

It is funny to recognized how much I have been dreaming this day, I have dreamed many things, That you could be the favorite taste that could taste my tongue. Also my favorite name and face, I know I could have someone that could be the one who do that part, But it will not be the same. What I remember the most is the feeling of tranquility, hope, Hope is the heaviest word in the world for me at this time, What is the possible? What could be? Hope to see your face, I want to have it all, Only with you. My favorite fantasy, Dont fade away, You don't know how comforting is the feeling to have you in my dreams, I know is my mind, she is playing with my feeling, My brain is mocking me, Doesn't like to live the reality and make my feel you around, But hey that's reality, can someone tell me what it is? You think that someday it could be true, That I can feel this peace and happiness, I am so afraid to lose this, I am so afraid to lose this hope, Maybe,...

Between delusions, paranoia, work and complaints. I have tried to survive the day, changing my attitude towards other people. Away from people I do not want to have around me. Learning to be more diplomatic, taking back all the knowledge I have, dont shared it with everyone, not everybody will appreciate it, if we want, it will be. Between paranoia, work, hypocrisy and gossips. I've tried to survive the day, I need music, I do not want to hear whispering, I don't want to hear my voice neither the voices in my head, I've never liked the silence, that noisy silence. Because here all my paranoias start the game again and "Yes I can hear you". Learning to hear my music, to ignore the people around me. Between hypocrisy, gossip, ignorance and manuals. I have tried to survive the day, forgetting any questions about me, don't self doubt. Let me go! Learning to ignore any reasoning and forget you, say sorry to all the guilty to have about every you didn...

Limits: Know my limits, how far I need to go to know if that is my limit or not. If you know MMA, you need to tap 2 times to give up. I never learn how to give up, maybe that why I don't know my limits, because everything is not out of my reach. I won't give up until I do it. Fear of the unknown: If I dont try new things, If you take the risk to lose it all, If you dont change your routine, you will never learn how the world move around. You are a human: Sometime you dont feel like one, your mind doesnt process the information the same way, you need to remember that your mortal. I make mistakes: Deal with the reality and you do make mistakes, I am not perfect. If your find out to did something wrong, take responsibility and learn from it. Do not run away again: I need to stay until the end, never ever run away from any of your mistakes and always dont forget, the guilty is not a weight I need to carry on.

I ask to the sky “Where I am? Who I am?” A lot of people walk around me, Sorry, but I am trapped in this bitterness, This place is the same every time, People just walk and never look around. Where I am? I always hope someone to look in my eyes, But this only happens one time, I cross my sight with you, But who are you? I can´t hide I can believe it  My heart feel happiness You are the one who came into my dreams But where are you? I will find you, I will recognize you. I promise despite where you are and who you are I will recognize you I will remember your eyes I will look at you I don’t care how many sunset pass by, I will find you doesn’t matter where you are, I won’t forget you I will like to see and cherish all your expressions. Maybe at this moment I am standing here in a gloomy sky, Looking to the people just walked by, Maybe I am afraid of everything and how long it will take But the time will slow down when I wil...

I sit waiting for you, I watch people pass with indifference. It's not possible to know what mood you'll get on this day. Everything goes through my mind, Trying to count everything that had happened in the week. For a whole week missing you, I wish you knew how long I am being waiting for you. Nothing is different, the scenario of our encounter is the same You came and everything was the same, Spent the hours talking about the same thing. The subject changed several times and then you approached, Did not know what to expect from you. You gave me a kiss, we kiss, A soft kiss on the lips. I did not know what to say, I did not know if I had to say something, It is necessary to show you any kind of affection. You expected some reaction! I did not say anything, I did not know how to react. Because I didn't know how I felt, It was something that had been waiting for a long time. What made you have that reaction and kiss me? You kissed me again, This ...

The day passes slowly and tortuously. One Minute, Two minutes, Three minutes, Four minutes, Five minutes, Six  minutes. What do I do to get out of this? I tried to get out of the torture, I thought about my favorite person to set me free, but he was not free. I need to remember he is not free for me all the time. Seven minutes, Eight minutes, Nine minutes, Ten minutes, Eleven minutes, Twelve minutes, I asked the right questions to the right people to get out of what the payday plans were. There was a latent option, The chances of going out with other people Maybe i need to try new things Thirteen minutes, Fourteen minutes, Fifteen minutes Sixteen minutes Seventeen minutes, I continued to wait for the response of a single person to set me free. Oh my God, Each minutes feels like hours. My soul is lost today, Not able to feel empathy to other, If I can at least to deal with my own, How do you expect to me to feel theirs? Thirty minutes, The madn...

The frustration started the moment I realized that I loved you, I wonder if you are a bad person because every time I see you are playing with a different person. My heart hurts from this clumsy love, I would like to share with you everything, a look, a smile even want to share few tears. Everything hurts because of you and this clumsy love. All this is for you and the love that I have for you, I have tried to retain it, So many times I have tried to stop it, But I knew from the beginning that it was all your fault, Just to see you for the first time, My heart began to miss you, As well as loving you, It is a pain that I can not explain, I think I can say I'm fine. You move away from me, Although from the beginning I knew that you were not by my side, Because I can not stop you by my side, Just look at me, Wait for me, it will all be worth it, Today I feel sad because of you, I've seen you so many times today and I can not hold you in ...