Un diario dislexico

Sentimientos encontrados, Realidades alternas, Momentos perdidos, Esperanzas destrozadas por la realidad, Las cosas deberian de ser mas facil cuando tenes el corazon en una mano, Cuando tenes toda tu fe en un solo momento, en una sola alternativa, Vas despertando sin nada, sin sueños, sin ganas, sin fuerza.... Hasta tu reflejo en el espejo te mira con reproche, con ganas de abofetearte por todo lo que has hecho de tu vida sin pensar en las consecuencias de ello, La vida te consume poco a poco, Tu luz se va apagando sin ganas de brillar, Sin deseos de seguir buscando la salida de este oyo, Este maldito abismo que vos cavaste poco a poco, Los dias se hacen eterno, las horas mas largas y los minutos saben a años de espera, Queres gritarte que te amas, pero ni tu mismo te lo crees, No sale de tus labios esas palabras que quieres oir de otros labios, Como esperas que alguien te lo diga si tu mismo no puedes decirtelo, Te ves y te repudia tu imagen, Te ves cada uno de tus de...

To be Human, It is necessary to know what is the difference between love and be love, Or to know what is to love somebody or to be in love of someone, Is it a difference between them? You know there is someones who wants to use you and abuse you, There is the misdeed if we believe that love can conquer all, That the goal, purpose, meaning, reason of your life is to love someone and become a perfect and complete being after you meet that person, Or maybe, We don't need to be too close to be complete and that is the reason for you to keep searching for the other half, I don't believe anymore in the other half or someone will complete me, But can I believe that I am able to fall in love one last time or several times before I departure from this life? The blood in my veins still warm and my heart needs to feel love again, I am not able to stop searching, I don't care when, who, where or how this is going to happen, It is not possible to break my spirit, I am read...

It will be the death of me, I need to discover, I need to behave, I know I am the master of my own disaster, I need to know I am able to last from my own disasters, I know I can handle my miniature disaster life. People think I have a cold heart, I am able to be a very strange sight, Because I am not what you see at first, I love to be alone, that is not a lie, But doesnt mean my heart is made of stone, Get close and you can know how warm a fussy my heart is, And let me do all the talking. Don't fear what you are not able to understand, I know I look far away, Believe me I want to be like, You think I am full of excuses, But I feel you are in the other side of the world to me, I wish this could be simple, Are you able to hold me and never let me go? Are you able to see me?

New beginning, New Journey, Again and again the circle start, The endless journey for me, But the new beginning for you, So tired that I am not able to go on, I have some many thing to give and to try, I am waiting for you to bring me your willingness to help, But I don't know if I will be able to handle another disappointment, You give some many of your soul and hopes at the moment you help other then you forgot why you started, It was your initial reason or you lost yourself on the way, I need to leave or forget how to the razoning work, I am a sucker for pain, I am the only one that expect to fix something, But when you are able to remember you love to offer yourself to change things, To improve everything around you, Then the reality hit and you are a dumb sucker for pain.....

How i will forget you? Will I be able to move forward without you? I stopped myself waiting for your answer....

NO se que decir, De que hablar, MUchas veces me pregunto en que momento me perdi, Las cosas, mi vida tenia un plan, una historia, un path, un sentido.... Al menos eso era lo que me repetia todos los dias, al menos eso era lo que creia. Todo ere segun el plan, Todo iba segun lo que me habian enseñado en casa, Mi mama me habia dicho que las cosas debian de ser de esa manera, Encontrar a alguien, Conocerlo, luego el casamiento y los hijos, Y la realidad o la vida me golpeo, Me dio una bofetada, Me mostro que todo lo que creia realidad era todo una mentira, Lo que me habian dicho, Esas promesas, la fidelidad, el "amor unico e incondicional", el respeto, la compañia, Eran una mentira, Que me duele mas?!?!?! La infidelidad o la traicion o la mentira o que me lo estes negando?!?!? Me pongo a pensar en cada momento, ocasion, salida que tuviste con tus "amigos", en lo flexible que era contigo con respecto a respetar tu tiempo personal, en creer que dejand...

Are you telling me I am the one to blame? Are you asking to feel the guilt for all your shame? Are you kidding me? All this sour disposition, All these bitter words coming from your ones sweet mouth, You promise to love me for better or for worse, You said I was the person you dream off, I was the only one in your heart, Now I am the one how take your manhood, I did everything for you, I worked hard to keep our lifestyle, I did all for us, The saddest part is you never told me "we were not ok" You keep your mouth close, You shut down, You never try to fix us, You give up, I never had a change, Am I the worse person? I want to scream to the world how bad I am, It is possible to tell you how sorry I am for never notice your unhappiness, Is this what do you expect from me? Do you want me you say this words? Do you really think I am really sorry for this outcome? I knew from the begging you were with some else, That you started your departure from our ho...

How are you able to move forward? If everything around you pull you backward. You try to meet new people, But you compare every body with him. They tell you "What doesn't kill you make you a stronger!" Maybe a little stronger, But still you are afraid to be hurt again. You are planning to realize your stress with one night stands, Do you ask to your heart if you will be able to survive that way for to long? Te preguntas porque las cosas terminaron de esta manera, La distancia te mato, La soledad te gano.... O el encanto de nuestra relación pereció? Todo tiene una fecha de caducidad, NO es posible que la distancia destruyera 2 años de relación, Mis sentimientos no importan, Mi lealtad no valio de nada, Mi cuerpo no puede comprender porque no estas aqui conmigo, Mi corazón no quiere sentir este vacío por tu ausencia, Mi cerebro no procesa la razón de tu distanciamiento, Igual nada de eso cuenta porque hasta este momento tu no vuelve...

Why what do you do taste like dust? What happen when you don't feel nothing at the moment you do what you supposed to love? You don't feel nothing! That everything around you doesn't taste sweet anymore, No more magic, No more inspiration, I need to ask me who I am, I forgot what was the passion I used to have, I used to love these, I want to feel it again, I dont like to play around, I like to work, I love to do, I dont like to feel relax, I like to push myself to my limits, I need to interrupt this way of thinking. You need to fail, You need to try something new, You need to take 15 minutes ro try something new, Change your habits, Change your hobbies, Add something new, You need to find the taste of simple things again, You need to free your mind and you will find yourself. Say yes to play more and less work... Do you want to play?

I felt awake today, Here I am for you to take it, Sometime big girls cry when the heart is breaking. I play alone in the dust, I learn how to survive, I won't envy you, Because I will survive, Even if you don't want to but I am still alive, I found solitude in the darkest hours, Everything was against me, Not even my family believe I wasn't able to survive, But I am still breathing, I did all the thing you didn't believe I was able to do, Please check it, I am here and I survive.... Please wake up.... I want to be close to notice the change, I know I need you before, I said I will not let you go but.... You let off before me, I want to live with you, But not anymore, Everything fade away, We said we won't let go... I don't want to by her anymore.....

Cuando veo las fotos y tu rostro feliz, Te ves mas feliz, Mucho más feliz de como cuando estábamos juntos, Nadie creo que te lastimo como yo, Fui la primera persona en muchas cosas, Primer beso, Primera relación formal, Primera de ser presentada con tu familia, Primera que le entregaste un anillo, Primera que le propusiste matrimonio, Eso fue lo que fui, Reconocer que te vez felizmente casado con otra, Saber que al final te vez feliz, Deseo que sea asi, No se si sentirme mal por no ser yo quien te acompañe mas en tu camino, Nuestros caminos no se encontrarán otra vez, Porque también fue la primera persona que te lastimo, Te lastimo tanto que jamás volviste a ser el mismo. Debería de ser un insulto mi nombre en tus labios... I never was perfect for you, You found the love, You really look happier with her, I am so glad that I was able to share few years with you, But I know you look perfect with her.

What something Happen? When am I able to know that my emotion take the best of me? When do I trigger that anger? How do I stop it? Do I am able to see the best of myself? To know that I am not able to solve the problem, How did I feel? What caused my feeling? How did I express and regulate my feeling? What could I have done to handle the situation better? What can I do now? There is a plain?

Sometimes I guess it was all my fault, He want to give you everything, But just wasn't enough for you, You was enough for him, When he is someone who couldn't give everything to you, On the end, he gave up. Back then, when we used to love each other, When everything was so exiting and colorful, We thought we were able to own the world, I was not able to picture myself without you, To be in this moment, That's how I am. That day we talk about our future life, I was someone who went too far ahead of you, In the end I let you go, I know everything was on me, It must have been so hard and painful, I was the one who end it, And I paying for it. You used to cry like the world had come to an end, But now I know everything was for the best, I can't picture you anymore in my life, I wonder if you are really ok, Can I ask you if you´ve completely forgotten about us? Maybe it is to selfish to ask. Why can´t they be like memo...