Octubre 7 "Why are you afraid to lose?"

Tell me why are you so afraid to lose,
You already hate yourself,
You dont love your body,
There is not other person but you who body shaming yourself,
You have that piece of meat and bones,
The only one to blame because of you body condition,
But still, you never love yourself,
You thought that was the only way to make your point against your mother requests,
The only way, you were able to be on control of the situation,
Still, you did everything,
You never love yourself,
You were waiting for someone to love you but even if they showed up,
You never believed they like you,
Why? Because you hate yourself....
Yes, yes, yes,
You hate your body,
You are ugly, you are nothing,
You are not able to see yourself in the mirror,
You are not able to say "I love you" to your reflection,
You hate every time someone said "Wow, you look good" or "Wow, you are getting skinnier"
Because you dont believe it,
You are not able to see it,
But why are you afraid to see it?
You still remember your mother words "You dont worth nothing", "Nobody will love a fat girl"
It is not your mother, your friends or your exs fault,
Because at this point the only one responsable that you are all alone is you.
It is not theirs worlds or action what takes you here,
But you continue with the same train of thoughts,
You dont see the end,
You still hating every inch of your body,
This piece of meat,
This cheap and worthless pieces of flesh,
But you are afraid to lose it,
To lose your mind,
You are scared of the lonely road ahead,
And you are afraid no one will take the chance to know you,
Still it is easy to run and be alone,
Not to open yourself,
Hating every decision or opportunity,
Because it is easy to lose what is lose already,
If you have nothing, it is easy to avoid another broken heart,
Or another false hope,
I wish to change,
I want to change,
I need to change,
Because I need a chance,
I need a chance to find peace of mind,
I need to said it without crying,
I need to stop this hate......