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Julio 21 "Now....Here....Missing"

After all this days are not the best, not the best for me or my health.
My mind is over working and over thinking...
The worst is after all the thoughts and analysis, i dont know what i am missing...
Maybe the worst part is I am scared of trying,
Recognize that fear of losing again,
I can live alone,that doesnt hurt anymore.
But trying again it is the worst fear of all.
Can i rise again if i fall?
Can i love again and i am able to survive if they dont love me back?
What is the worst can happen?
Comfortable loneliness,
When i think, i shouldn't hear the first time,
In this life, I think i was not destine to find you,
To find you again,
The first time i was not prepare for it,
It was not the right time,
Without waiting for it, it showed up,
And the same way it was gone,
Without a warning,
Without a word,
I was not able to know that was stupid,
That I was the villain in his story,
I was not the heroine or the one for him,
And the only thing I keep from it was the pain of losing again.
I will like to feel like the victim but I am not...
I know this is not the life I will find you so easy,
I was not able to find you last one,
I didnt keep trying, I gave up last time.


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