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Hold me tight

We need to talk, I need to talk with myself...
We need to have a conversation about everything,  our past and everything we did wrong or right,
We damage some people, we hurt ourselves...
I need to talk about our problems with rejection and separation,
Our conversation regarding our feelings and about the one we let go,
All the what if you are thinking every single day lately,
The only thing that comes to me mine is Johnny Cash singing: "My only sunshine"
We focus ourselves on everyone's feeling but not in ours,
Why we never remember that never will be enough  for them,
They will never understand what we  did for them,
What we ran away and that was our coward desition,
We didn't let them choose,
We did it for them  and now we want to know if our present could be different,
I was trying to make their life easier,
But I am sick to be so lonely,
Some days I ask myself why pushed them,
 I miss my family,
All my scars and I am shader in pieces,
I regret.....
We never talk before...
We never take care of ourselves,
We always follow someone,
We always need attention and love from someone to feel appreciated,
We need their approval if not we don't worth anything,
When I review every single scar we have, every tear  we cried because of our desitions,
we repeated so many times "we are ok",
We don't believe it anymore,
We thought and imagine that we will have a different life at this point,  this one was not our plan
But still,
We are thinking to run away again...
Dad and Grandma passed away...
My brother will leave the country soon...
What is holding me here?
We do regret that I did not grow old with him,
We have a  dumb hope I will end with him, even if we are old and all grey out,
We believe in stupid romantic movies and we are able to bit the odds,
We need to talk,
We need to ground our dreams and remember this is not a drama show,
We forget that we are getting older and  still we don't believe in new love,
I need to sit down with myself and have this conversation face to face,
I will write you a letter soon...





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