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Dear K age 22

Dear K Age 22,

I wish to know how are you doing at this moment? She already told you that she will go and study abroad. You promise her to follow and that you will not leave her alone.... She did not reply to you in the best way, she asked you to stop... She asked you not to follow her even she ask you to end your relationship... I am crying right now, the tears don't stop, every though is hauled inside of them.

Even if I ask you right now, not to go away, not to be hurt with her words, I know the end result: you are not next to me, I push you too far away for me to reach you back to me....

Sometimes I wish so hard that we are able to wake up and you are next to me...

Whish to smell your perfume, brush your hair with my hands and whisper in your ear how much I do love you...

I regret every single word and my immature behavior...

My world was crumbling, the only thing I knew, my family was not a family anymore (what I thought it was a family); and you paid the price for every insecurity I had have about us, about your love for me, about the reason you were in love with someone like me...

I wish you have mercy of me and at least in a different reality, you stay next to me... Please fight for us... Don't let me go... Please let get old together... Give her a chance to understand her feeling... I can't handle it anymore... Sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable...

Do you remember the time you ask me to marry you? Even you told me to do it behind our parents back and do it in secrecy...

Our promise rings... Our afternoons in your bed or sometimes was in mine...

I am so sorry, I wish and yearn for so long your hug and the comfort I felt inside them...

Don't feel bad or mad with me, you will found a new love and marry her... It was a moment after I came back from Argentina when I tried to ask you to come back to me but I knew it was too late... Even I was so confident that you were so hurt and you didn't want me back (also I was not reliant that I was good enough for you)

I wish you every single day for your happiness... I pray for it...

Don't worry, I never deserve your pity and forgiveness...
We grow apart and it possible you believe I am the same person as before but I am not, also in my mind you are him, K age 22, I don't know who are you if you change... The only thing I am certain, you don't want to be close to me and that is the most painful thing of all... I wish to talk... I don't ask for a face to face conversation at least a chat...

But in the end... I am eager for a dream...
I know you are happy... and that should be enough for me... please smile for me and I will stop crying...




"I can no longer stop this feeling because inside my heart is full of your love, I love you from that day... but I have to hide it. I can no longer contain my feeling, I will tell you how much I love you even though it may hurt, I can't hide it any longer"

With all my love,

Marie Age 41


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