Everything in the day would have told me that it was going to be a simple day without any high or low. All the shit pointed at that. I do not know what gave me today to see through the bus window all the way, in a gray Mitsubishi Lancer, until the plates I learned, I see a known silhouette. My eyes could not believe it, it was him. I saw it several times, I was amazed, frozen from the impression.
With all my heart I wanted him to see me again. The tears, the fucking feeling, the vulnerable, all that I try to kill every day. Emotions that I tried to hide for a long time. The feeling of abandonment came back to me, the tears too. I had to hide it, I had to go to the office.
I was amazed at the window of a bus watching it, the traffic was very heavy, so the cars were not moving. You can see every detail, the freckles in his arms (if as well as the ones I have, but bigger, I think they are now confused with the age spots in his hands) that beard on the reddish chin and the dark brown mustache . See again what we resemble. His gray-haired hair looks gray.
His unmistakable angry face, the same one I have. Frowning the mouth to the right side. I saw detail by detail, I do not know when I will see it again. And if the tears were piling up on my shirt. But I had to behave, I had to go to the office. I had to be strong, but as it is possible to see it 5 minutes I knock down all the defenses I had made 4 years ago.
I had seen it happen, had been second what I had seen before, but today was different. Today I had time to react, to try to make a mental picture.
I spent all day holding that feeling, I knew I had seen it. That he wanted to shout at him, to talk to him, even for one of his usual regiments. Just hear it, tell her I'm alive. That I love him so much and that I miss him too much.
Still at this moment I continue to shed tears for what happened in the morning. I could not talk to anyone about this, the tears wanted to come out and the pain of seeing it too. So I chose to send a message saying what had happened to me, even if it was to download my FEELINGS. I did not expect comfort, just to say what was going through my mind.
I've never said that, but one of his favorite films is Moulin Rouge, that's why I have the movie soundtrack. The first movie I gave of my endearing collection was "The Little Mermaid" in beta max.
I have to return to my state of forgetfulness, the feelings, the pain and the tears can not return. Papo (daddy) miss you!
The question I have is: Why does it hurt so much? I would like to know the answer of this.
With all my heart I wanted him to see me again. The tears, the fucking feeling, the vulnerable, all that I try to kill every day. Emotions that I tried to hide for a long time. The feeling of abandonment came back to me, the tears too. I had to hide it, I had to go to the office.
I was amazed at the window of a bus watching it, the traffic was very heavy, so the cars were not moving. You can see every detail, the freckles in his arms (if as well as the ones I have, but bigger, I think they are now confused with the age spots in his hands) that beard on the reddish chin and the dark brown mustache . See again what we resemble. His gray-haired hair looks gray.
His unmistakable angry face, the same one I have. Frowning the mouth to the right side. I saw detail by detail, I do not know when I will see it again. And if the tears were piling up on my shirt. But I had to behave, I had to go to the office. I had to be strong, but as it is possible to see it 5 minutes I knock down all the defenses I had made 4 years ago.
I had seen it happen, had been second what I had seen before, but today was different. Today I had time to react, to try to make a mental picture.
I spent all day holding that feeling, I knew I had seen it. That he wanted to shout at him, to talk to him, even for one of his usual regiments. Just hear it, tell her I'm alive. That I love him so much and that I miss him too much.
Still at this moment I continue to shed tears for what happened in the morning. I could not talk to anyone about this, the tears wanted to come out and the pain of seeing it too. So I chose to send a message saying what had happened to me, even if it was to download my FEELINGS. I did not expect comfort, just to say what was going through my mind.
I've never said that, but one of his favorite films is Moulin Rouge, that's why I have the movie soundtrack. The first movie I gave of my endearing collection was "The Little Mermaid" in beta max.
I have to return to my state of forgetfulness, the feelings, the pain and the tears can not return. Papo (daddy) miss you!
The question I have is: Why does it hurt so much? I would like to know the answer of this.
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