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Julio 2 "The Struggle"

The struggle is real, is damn real

What the F… the worst is recognize it is real. After I watch my self today in that way, I know this is real, the struggle will be so big. SO damn BIG.

I was watching me and love me at the same time, it was not possible. Body shaming, F…ing Body shaming………… I was not able to say anything, not to feel ashamed of mine body.

I hate the saw I look, I have so much hate. Then what? I need to remember I am working on it. Nothing is faster if I want it to last. But It was so disgusting, I Hate it. I really hate me, why I let me go this way? Why I never stop? Why I never love myself before.

I am F…ing hating this feeling. Hopples, I am not F…ing hopeless but it is going to be hard.
I want to kill, to fight, to punch me, to punish me for it…… and scream “You got what you deserve, F…ing stupid cow”

F…. I need to love me, I need to do it….. I need to do it. I LOVE ME …. I need to watch me on the mirror…. I need to learn not to hate what I see and I need to change it.


F…………. F……… F………. F……… this is not working. I hate it!!!!! I hate what I am looking at!!!!!
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